In our final interview with Biblical heavyweight, Joseph bar Jacob, he opened up about his emotional moments and shared what he has learned about forgiveness.
Arrow: Joseph, today I was hoping to get a better picture of your emotional side. In all of the stories about your life, there are five that stand out to me because you were weeping. I don’t think even Jeremiah wept that often. The first is when you saw your brother, Benjamin, for the first time in many years. I’m told you had to leave the room to keep from giving away your secret.
Joseph: Yes, that was a very emotional moment. Benjamin was my only full brother, and it was just so good to see him again. He was only a boy the last time I had spoken to him, and suddenly there he was a grown man. I think what I was feeling was compassion, not just for Benjamin, but for the entire family. Their lives could have been so much better. God had cared for me so abundantly, and here they were, begging me for food.
Arrow: The second time we hear about you weeping is when you revealed yourself to your brothers.
Joseph: Sure. Don’t you ever watch HGTV? Everybody starts to cry over the “Big Reveal.” I think it’s a rule or something.
Arrow: Then again when your father arrived in Egypt. The story is that you “fell on his neck and wept on his neck a good while.”
Joseph: What can I say, I loved my dad. I was thinking about how he thought I was dead all those years.
Arrow: Then you wept again when your father died.
Joseph: Of course. It would have been disgraceful if I hadn’t.
Arrow: Okay, but here’s the one I’m wondering about. After your father died, your brothers came to you and told you that before his death, your father had left a command that you should forgive them. Again, you wept. What was that all about?
Joseph: Well, first of all, I knew they were lying. Dad didn’t say that. He didn’t need to because I had already forgiven them seventeen years before. It suddenly struck me that these brothers had been living in guilt all that time. By forgiving them, I had released them from their prison, but they had never walked out the door. What a terrible waste of seventeen years, during which they could have been free. I pitied them because of that.
Arrow: And what else were you feeling?
Joseph: I was disgusted! I thought that we had achieved a new and close relationship, but it had obviously not been as close and loving as I imagined. It hurt. It was like my brothers were telling me, “Did you think we liked you? Well, we were only acting, and we never did trust you.” My heart was deeply involved in forgiving my brothers. It was real for me. I wanted and needed my family.
Arrow: It sounds like your feelings about that are still pretty raw. Here you are, tearing up again just thinking about it, and it’s been what? Four thousand years?
Joseph: Yeah. I was just having a conversation with God about that. He said that he has experienced the same thing. He forgives people but they don’t believe it. He said they think that he is merely putting up with them. The popular belief seems to be, “God might forgive me, but he can’t possibly like me.” Honestly, you carbon life forms have a lot to learn.
Arrow: Interesting. What would you like to teach us about forgiveness?
Joseph: Let me just quickly point out four things. First, forgiveness leaves revenge to God. Like I said to my brothers, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God?” Second, forgiveness recognizes the sovereignty of God. In order for me to forgive my brothers, I had to see that what they did to me was part of God’s plan whether I liked it or not. I told them, “You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good.” Third, forgiveness blesses the guilty. But, hey, I was guilty too, and look how God blessed me. I need to pass that on. And fourth, forgiveness is a great way to love somebody. You can’t forgive without love.
Arrow: Thank you, Joseph, for spending this time with us.
Questions for Thought and Discussion
Genesis 50:15-21
- What does the brothers’ lie reveal about their fears?
How does Joseph react to their claim? - What do Joseph’s reactions to his brothers’ lies teach you about forgiveness?
- When have you been offered forgiveness?
How has this affected you? - Who could you bless with the gift of forgiveness?
What difference would this make in your life?